okay. short post.



i'm making this snappy. traded phone with dad. i'm using the motorola v3x. -__- it's almost three am and i'm transfering songs to the mp3. i got bored, and was so sick of waiting for fred to call. stupid faggot, made me wait. grr. i couldn't sleep anyways. so i waited for fred to call back. hmm. okay mamat's starting to call me b. so i had to call him boo. like wtf. urrm. my random skin given to ween. she aced it off well and it looked nice on her blog. :D



three days and counting. since i've taken a bath, or even a proper shower. :D no i don't stink. but indeed i am dirty. haha. 40 seconds until cassie's me and you is transferred into the phone. wheehe. and that's the last song i'll be putting in tonight.. or is it morning. staying home again i guess. well i don't mind though.. anyways. i'm missing my boyfriend. &i'm missing suriati and azween. and mostly not to forget my hidayaah. gorr. another month pends till i get to hang out with them, with the complete three bigbreasts girls i love. (no i ain't lesb.)










random pics i got from the v3x. hari raya featuring my little bacyyn rascal.

okay. so called "abstract". but i think it's grudge. urrm. syafiq. tell me if she'll like it. well. mixture of brushes. and hehhs. i made it. ugly- i know. i don't do abstract or grudge. okay the second pic, i did this for fun! :) okay lastly syafiq's skin is completed. oh text me and claim your html lurr. :D

okay. so i went out with wi just now.

i was fashionably late for some reason. (mamat wanted to meet -___-) in the end, i got free ciggarettes. so, met wi at the control station. i stopped and took my Chucks out. my socks were sinking way beneathe my foot. so we took a bus ride to marine parade. wi opened his bag, and took out a rose& handed it to me. i was elated. the stalk broke, but i still got half of the living rose. it's wilting slowly, right now. it was seriously impetuous. whoo. and after he handed the rose to me, he gave a peck on the cheek. i went *gorrr*

on the way there, text messaged surya. she said she's not meeting shuhaimi. for some reason, her 22-year old boyfriend prefers to play toy airplanes at void decks, rather then go meet her. okay, surya is wasting her time. -___- so after reaching east coast, we went to mcdonalds and ate. and after eating, we sat at the waterbreaker. &I WASN'T BEING EMO. and then we walked and talked. we settled down under this cute bench under a tree. it wasn't too warm nor too windy. we talked alot. i really enjoyed it, yeah. and then we went bangbang. i fell flat onto the ground. well, the toilet's floor actually. thank you so much, wi.

and then, we sat at the beach. watching the sunset. unfortunately, wi has a big head, and he blocked the sun from my view. we talked about our exboyfriends and girlfriends. :D the place where we sat, was the same place where haikal and i first met. i remembered haikal and his piyo. and there was shafiq and an. and we were listening to "gone" & "here without you". oh that was so last year. :D so after it got evening, we walked back to the underpass. and took a busride home. we looked at each other's ezlinks and cards. went we alighted at the bus central, he took me to the library. we shared a caramel vanilla frappe. and when i was ordering the drink, i heard a *thumpp* i turnt around and found out this ah pek banged his nose to the glass door. he turnt to me, and smiled. ahaha. so settled at cafe galilee.. wi held my hands- tightly. ooh i felt loved. and then, he sent me off to the bus station. i hugged him, bit his nipple and kissed him on the cheek. wheehe. so, while waiting for the bus, i saw people staring to the ground. i saw this cricket. i got freaked, so i slowly walked away. when i came home, i ran up and barry'd. i switched on the pc, and looked up and saw a cricket on my kitchen ceiling. i called dad, and he said, "tuh lah balik malam lagi." i was like, i saw a cricket at bedok central, why again at home. he said it's nothing. he told me to get my maid to clear it. so she did. she grabbed a bamboo stick, and shoo-d it away. and so it did. i ran upstairs for a second, and when i got back to the kitchen, the stupid cricket was still there. i called her again, she told me it was nothing. i was like, i know, it's just disgusting. and then she shoo-d the cricket till it flew out. and she quickly shut the windows. :D

i am loving the rose. it's right beside me. it's a pity that it's wilting. well, my first ever red rose. i've received a pink rose from my bestfriend loong ago. and now i got a red one. from wi. oh god loves me.

I HAD FUN WITH WI! :D

i'm on the phone with kiwi :D

johor b was great. grocery shopping was effing fun (for the first time) we bought many household stuff. only the essentials were taken. -_-"

pestered dad to buy many dvds. he bought, DoA, john tucker must die, happy feet & heart. okay, i've finally watched heart. the storyline was super slow and i waited two hours just to see rachel sacrifice her heart for luna. JUST to make ferel happy. in the opening part of the movie, rachel and ferel were kids, playing basketball. those times totally reminded me of khai and i. we were like, bestfriends. actually, exs also. that opening part of the movie brought me back to my childhood days (before i was a TEEN) i used to run around, chasing dickheads who had intentions to hurt me. i remember some the guys were saufi, nabil, abas and sheihron. oh sweet- being a twelve year old.

on the phone with mamat now. pathetic laa. okay shinx wants to play the pc. toodless.

it's like, 12:35MD.

i'm superbored. i'm chatting with mod-deh-teh (lan) and he's been pestering me to go to sleep. i'm online, myspacing with abg zahrin. and he's pretty excited about his upcoming birthday, which falls on my 3 month anniversary with mamat. IF we make it to 3 months actually. hoho. mamat had his first day at work just now. and he didn't even bother to call me, to tell me what how he did just now. & to think i was supposed to cheer him on and be happy that he is employed. oh mamat.

i watched die another day just now. and at the end of the movie, i got a call from an unknown number. after five minutes or so of talking, i finally found out it was azali (dayah's ex tuu) we talked for about 15 minutes or so.. he kept asking me about mamat, or considering getting a better boyfriend. and he asked me if i ever had a relationship with aron (euuws!) or alep (douuble euuws!) behind his no-motive-calling conversation, he told me he got thrown in vtc. i was like, haha. who told you not to study. he said he'll be taking the food preparation course. like, azali, WORK IN A KITCHEN? if you were to see him in the kitchen, i doubt you won't trust his cooking, even as much as i do. :D well, after five months of knowing azali, it's this one thing i never knew he had. being shy. azali was shy trying to tell me something. ahaha. i was like, if you don't want to tell me, it's okay la. it's not that i want to know it neither. ahaha. azali- malu? omg!

aww. i received a goodnight message from kiwi. :D it said : my day won't be over for i have something left to do. i just can't sleep yet without saying i love you.. .blaah bla blaah. how sweet. i replied : have a great rest, and sweet dreams. let god bless you in your sleep. and if you dream of me, i'll fall back dreaming of you.. blaah bla blaah. i was bored, so i made some dopey words to make that guy fall asleep real fast. :D i'm still continuing my conversation via myspace with abang. i promised to get him a box of chocolates for his birthday. no, not those common brands you can get at sheng siong. oh, know me people. i eat chocolates from Chocz! ahaha. i remembered going out with sarah on father's day. we each bought something for my father. i remembered her, purchasing a pmk tee for her daddy. cute cute! okay, so here's me posting pictures onto my blog. well random pics ah. tengah kontanng, so anything goes..

pics like these truly reminds me of my long hair. oh i had regrets cutting it. grr.

amaargk. kanak-kanak strawberries on the loose. check out my faggot face everyone! and ween seriously look like a momokk.

this is a pic snapped by stupid hadziq in the train on the way to vivo. that's hadziq's kaki babi and my size 1 chucks. abang zahrin told me to look for jack's. he said maybe they had sizes for me. :D yes ahh. i'm eyeing for a pair of jacks! can i please, mother? well, there's basically two creatures, well those are fonts i recently downloaded. the short monster is me while the tall ugly hair one is hadziq. see! well, that shows our height difference in real life. yes aah. hadziq's tall.

okay it's one. and i really need to be sleeping by now. well i should have, two hours ago. i'm off to jb tommorrow with father, shinx and irfaan. grocery shopping.. "yayys!" -_-" so i want to capture some sleep. so superfuck : gogo!

i see everybody has a guy-bestfriend/ girl-bestfriend.

& kiwi is all minne :D

got superbored and superfucked.

it's no use having a boyfriend who does not call. i refuse to have him text msging me. especially if he uses his little brother's phone and have intentions to waste every 5 cents of my prepaid. everyone should know that. i hate replying text messages. i hate to reply to all, except kiwi's. :) his is flattering sweet BUT full of anxiety. and that's cute!

okay enough talking about the kiwi-shaped baby- bestfriend. i'm frigging bored. chatting with izzat. eurghs. mother's back already. oh i wish she was dead. like, what kind of mother would address her child as "oi". -_-" especially when i'm right beside her. stupid kind of mother. okay, i need to stop it with the cursing above my mother. :D

i'm starving but i'm going to econ to get some coke first. and get the taste of 10 minutes of fresh air and freedom. okay. i'm off. LET'S GO SUPERFUCK: OKKKAAAAAYY! GOOOO.

i had the most pathetic fight with mother.
okay first she told me get ready and dress up. i did, i wore my boat tee and jeans. with my coat. then she said my butt looked so nice that i looked like a slut. and then she forced me to change my clothes. so i changed my jeans, into the pathetic superbig baleno jeans. then when i went out, salam'd my dad. and then she was like, "yah tgok yah. dia fikir dia lawa sgt org tgok pantat dia." like, cari pasal right? then my dad was like, "naik kan, naik kan." then i went to wear my shoes, she told me to lift my jeans. i lifted them up very high already, because the jeans were made until the hips only. and then she said i looked like a slut and she's going to throw away all my tight clothes. i was like, "eh. ma tak belikan baju org, ma takmo nak step buang baju org eh." then she kept quiet for a while, and then she said, "siapa suru beli ketat2" i was like, "suka hari org ah duit org peh." she said i was rude and then i kicked my shoes and slammed the door. she was like, "kau tanak pergi kau pyar pasal ah." i was like, heck care ah. i had uttered enough patience just now. she just seriously wanted to cari pasal with me. -_-" all because of a pair of stupid jeans. then when i approached the laptop, dad was yelling. he asked me why i didn't go. heck care ah. and then i started to listen to loud rock music and he called me in. he gave me a so called "lecture." cb lah. eurgh.

mother : i can't believe they say you're a part of heaven, when all my life you made me live hell. (and thou i'm not even dead yet)
father : don't talk much because you never spent enough money on me to buy your so called "decent" clothes.
you guys never really had spent much time to know about me. i'm fourteen. hell-o. i'm not begging for attention or lieniency. parents, you just need to understand me. and how dare you call me a slut. you're some mother eyy.

dad is frussing about coming back late home. i promised him 7 but i was home on direct 8. he told mother, not to let us out again. ppfts. he's so not understanding seh. i was from harbour front. okay, so i went out, with fred and hadziq. i ran out of the house at ard 2:30, took a bus and a train to lavender. i was on time :) it was raining when i got there. soo- we walked in the rain towards beachroad. i saw shinx's friends. salam'd them and went downstairs to eat. we ate nasi ayam and aha. i didn't finish the plate. tsk. fred's treat xia. after consuming, we went up and walked ard. alaa. beach road, typical stuff. ncc/ npcc stuffs. cheap tees and shoes. then that hadziq got nothing to buy, we proceeded downstair. so we walked back to lavender's train. they took me off to vivo city. like cfuk seh. i went vivo like, countless times already. so yeah.

we went to vivo. first thing, fred wanted to hunt a toilet. so okay luhh. then saw ween at the cinema. wheehe. i miss her sial! then after waiting for fred to do his whatever, we went upstairs, outside. sat there, smoked and they started talking about my size- 1 chucks. fred kept boasting about his new nokia phone, like whatever. then suddenly zekk came. fuhh. nametag: mufiya. or somesort. ahaha. then they sat there and talk. hadziq and i were liberately ignored. but wth right.. then we walked, zekk wanted to eat. hehhs. nasi ayam largkhs. we hunted for a posb atm machine to let him withdraw his money. and then, they sent me off to the train station. :) i took a train home, alone again. so alighted the train and went right ahead towards bedok bus central. i sat at the railing, like some stupid kid, ALONE. so i heck care ah. and then my friend came along. which was utterly sad. he brushed past me. i shouted "naz" and he made a sarcastic turn. kimaak. kawan sendiri tak kenal. so we had a short chat. and then the bus came. wheehe. went to the shop, bought sanitary pads and coke. :) went home and dad screamed at me. waiting for the rice to cook, i'm hungry. so i'm chatting with shafiq and kiwi. :)

changed my skin. wheehe.
i had no intentions making it. i just got super bored. all i did was just mess up with the brushes :) well, i'll let syafiq, his cousin and ween PEND for their blogskins. i've seriously lost the *spark* of mood to blogskin these few days. just wait, okay? arghs.

father became generous and decided buy me a top-up card. kiwi was the first texted after i topped up. we'll be going out this monday. i can't wait! and maybe tommorrow, i'll be going out with fred. well, i hope to. please! right now, i'm sending songs to aza. he seems to have a sudden interest in indie music. oh thanks to me. well, i suggested songs for him. indie songs are nice, okay! and it's INDIE not INDIES. who the hell taught you that term. i'm listening to super slow jason mraz songs. wheehe. i'm bored and i seriously got nothing to do. hmm. mamat said he'll be calling me tonight, i'm soo inconsistent IF SO.

okay so i want to stop here. oh do comment on my skin.

listening to if you leave by nada surf.

if you leave, don't leave now.

please don't take my heart away.

promise me just one more night.

them we'll go our seperate ways.

..i won't let go at any price.

i recently ate dinner. eggs and rice. before that, went out with haziqah. she wanted to ajak me out. so we met at tampines' mcdonald's icecream stall. i told her i was hungry so she suggested long john silver. :) on the way there, i heard someone call my name. i ignored the first time but the second round, it came out loud and clear. i turnt around and saw this guy. the most unexpected guy i never thought i would ever meet again, HAIKAL! my exboyfriend, number 12. oh my cfuk. he was fantabulously handsome. i meant, changed uhh. golden brown hair, his same old topi gayung, awws. i missed him. i was "awwed" for a while and i felt like hugging him. hehhs. and then at long john, we shared a meal. and, i sat beside haikal && we ate at where we did before. then we moved to the arcade. we played car racing. haziqah alone versus me infront of haikal, helping him push the accelerator. then we played airhockey. score 8, 4. haikal alone, lost! :P and then played at toysrus. again, i recalled the sweetest memoirs. and then, we went down to mcd, haziqah ate fries.

i showed haikal the wallet. the wallet he gave me, the same wallet i used since i got it, which was soo valentine's day. and i still kept the card, and i showed it to him. i merely teared, though i exchanged it with a laugh. hehhs. and then haziqah wanted to go home. so we took her until 69 came. after that, haikal and i walked to this void deck where we once sat together before.

we tried to catch up on our past. and oh i remember every little thing. i cried because i missed him. and he was kind enough to console me and wipe away those tears. he said he missed me. and i kept saying that i'm always here. :) haikal spotted this guy filming us. and then, we moved to another place. we walked, and walked. until changkat's rc. we talked and talked. and again, i cried. (i forgot the reason why) and then i cried again. i didn't cry because i was sad, i cried because i was upset, i was angry. he kept saying sorry but i felt he should've felt sorry for himself. gosh. time flied super fast when we were sitting on just one spot. we hugged, cried, kissed - those were the old days! at ard 8 plus, he sent me off to the bus stop. again, the same bus stop held one of the sweet set memoirs. we stood at the same place, with our positions unchanged. when the bus came, he kissed me. and he kissed me on the forehead. that kiss just felt so sad. and i almost caught a tear when i boarded the bus. no one, no one never kissed me on the forehead. and i thought his just meant alot to me. and when the bus moved, haikal blew a kiss. and stuck out his tongue. i laughed alone in the bus.

i went to econ and bought coke. when i went home, dad was yelling at me. :) i really had fun with haikal. and i seek for more. you know, we sang "missing you" and "goodbye my lover" together. oh boy. those were the times. now i totally forgot why i ever let him go. i feel bad but that's the past right? i'm crying profusely right now. i felt like i totally upsetted him that time. but he said he's forgiven and forgotten. i just couldn't believe myself aah. cfuk me! well that's the past. and even he said, we're friends. and hehhs. i'm NOT leaving mamat for haikal.

i am frigging bored, so here's a second post.

recalling about the day's event, i felt really happy with myself. i have no inconsistencies about letting mamat go anymore. i refuse to let go, no no. i cannot blame him for being foolish and intellectually stupid at times, but maybe that's just the part of him that makes us stronger everytime we have a fight. i will never forget what we did just now. (oh shit i'm crying) i felt like he really meant it when he hugged me. and lying next to him makes me secure because each time he hugged came on very tight. and every flinch that reacted from the lumps on my head, thinking of it now just made me want to die laughing. :)

maybe it's his stupid goofy ways that makes me attracted to him (ee sial luh!) and he is one of the many guys i've ever had that made me feel so pampered. when i compare myself to surya and her beau, i thought hers was a great example of a strong on-going relationship. but stories beneath it makes me want to laugh about it. hehhs. now i really feel blessed to have mamat as a beau. :) please don't ask me why i'm being thankful! i'm loving it- since the 16th of September. and i don't love him for the money, nor do i judge him from his looks. :) those are just little disguises. and i don't mind his pair of half teeth also. well you can try to zoom in on his teeth. they're pretty hilarious when you see it actually :)

♥THE MOMENTS!




ween and andy. she's also in love (finally!)
and this super*rawrr* pic i made out of boredom.
and it's up on my myspace bg. hehhs.

2MONTHS AND STILL GOING STRONG!
=P I WILL PROVE TO YOOU, SURYA, WEEN! DAYAAH!
I CAN MAKE IT AAH! BLUECHS.

i just got back from the class chalet.
:) was effing fun! thanks for the invite wendy, agnes and all you guys! much loove! so, before that i met mamat. then we went to downtown together. met surya there. then we waited for nai khee. surya me and mamat were the first to jump on the beds since we were the only ones left in the room. nai khee was gone for quite some time and we three got to watch strawberry shortcake, bob the builder and hi5. :) oh wee, i had fun!

and then the chinese came. chuan ya was prettaiye xia. and yun ru looked nice in the haircut. matthew was frigging hot. and they all sat in the room and crapped. having a pretty shaken stomach, us three went to mcd for a small bite. when we got back, yanti feeza tasha and eeyam was there. they invited us to eat. and i got to eat ben and jerrys cookie dough! DELL-ish! and oh boy was a full! then the chinese moved to the pit to start their bbq. then i had a tummy ache and went to poopie. i'm sorry because the toilet stank like shit. many of my friends complained, well i'm sorry alright. i flushed! the smell just rose. don't blame me for poor ventilation. then most of us stayed in to watch princess hours, except for me and mamat ah. we kept laughing at "kepek eeyam". after the stupid show ended, we moved down. and used this empty pit beside the chinese's. we didn't book for one but we used it for free. hehhs. i had fun fanning the fire. then i saw nai khee and friends drinking. i had a few sips of carlsberg, plain! boy it tasted like medicine. and no, i didn't get drunk. not even high. i had several disputes with nas, hitting each other with the plates. ahas. mamat was there helping out with the jagung. :) and then miss jumilia came. she ate, talked and went home. ahas. i fanned three pieces of wellcooked chicken. one was given to kee wee, one dropped on the floor (darn) and this other one i peeled and fed mamat. hehhs. i ate another piece of chaotah chicken. surya don't know how to take care of the fire xia. so i had a piece of burnt chicken. then the chinese went up and yanti zah tasha and nas went home, at around 10. surya me and mamat goofed off with darren and his friends. and we helped them pretty much with the opening fire. and in return we got a cigg. oh wee! then dad fetched the three of us home. sue had to take a bus thou. mamat just lived behind my block. and we three sat at the back of the car playing with irfaan.

now i'm drinking cappucino while chatting with hadziq and lan. god i'm tired. wanting to call fred but i'm sure he's having a great time getting drunk. oh well. :)

i recently got back from my so called, "family gathering" and my uncle's engagement thingy. the family gathering was held at the jamiyah whatever. which i think was disappointing because it was stuck between the several lorongs at geylang. tsk! so went there and basically ate. and then had this little prayer, and then we took a family photo. well, my dad's aunts and uncles, and his aunts' and uncles' daughters and sons, grandkids and great grand kids. oh sweet melancholy. there were about, a hundred or more people i guess?

soo. after that, send dad home. and mum drove us off to chai chee because abang in was getting engaged. sat there, then suddenly mamat called me. so i used mother's phone to call back. wheehe. suddenly the feeling of trying to ignore him disappeared. i guess i missed him ah. when i sat in the car, i started thinking uhh. goddess.

i'm inconsistent about going to the class chalet tomorrow. well, i had a fight with my sister. throwing fists and hehhs. the phone at each other. we both ended up with cfuked up bruises. shinx had a small tear near her eye. and a lump on her head. i have two swelled lumps on my forehead (which is truely invisible) and a busted lip. but it's okay. shinx started freaking out, but soon we ended up laughing at the cfuked up faces. hehhs. :) mamat topping up for me tomorrow (mwahs! boyfriend!) and after that, maybe i'm meeting adan. and after that, proceeding to the class chalet. oh god, please heal these lumps, thou they're not that bad ah.

:) received 10$ from mother. wheehe. maybe i'm going swimming tomorrow. ahaas. okay luhh. i need a break.

i've recently consumed dinner. it wasn't a whole-hearted meal but hey. atleast i ate some carbohydrates. so, yesterday, i forced myself to sleep at around 3AM (early sial!) because my prepaid had a low amount, so i did not have free incoming. and besides, fred wanted to turn in early. so, woke up at midday. and played the computer. i got bored chatting with my friends online, and i begged people to go out with me. let's see. adan had to work and naz went out jamming.

so i called surya up. we met at 110. sat there for a while, and then walked around. we went to prima deli and bought eclairs and waffles. uumm! yummy. but i swear bedok north has mentally disturbed men! so we walked and walked. sat and talked. about her mamat. and mine. we talked many things. and we planned to go swimming! :) can? can please? so right, after tired of walking, decided to visit the norths. oh hoho. naz was there. ewan was there. radhan, adam, sufian, isam. ABAS. and this two others i don't know. sat there with sue. and we got free ciggs. wheehe.

right now i'm text messaging sufrina, using father's phone. hehhs. :) dayah changed her number, atleast she told me. wheehe. now sufr is telling me about norths and reservoir. what the cfuk xia! now i'm bored. listening to matchbook romance's shadows like statues. bored xia. haleghleghlegh.

i got tagged by syafiq (thank you!)

1.single,taken or crushing? :TAKEN
2.Are u happy with your life right now? :CONTENT AH.
3.when u meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast? :NOT SO.
4. Have you had your heart broken? :YES.
5. Do u believe there is some circumstances whereby cheating love is acceptable? :YES.
6. would you take someone back if he cheats on you? :YES AH!
7. have you talk about marriage with another before? :YES.
8. do you wish to have children. - :YES, PS.
9.how many? :TWO AH?
10.would you consider adoption? :ADOPTING, YES.
11.if you like someone right now, what is the best way to let him know your feelings? :AHA. I'VE GOT CHARM, AND I'VE GOT SPUNK. SO HAHHS!
12.do you enjoy getting into relationships? :SOMETIMES.
13.be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did? :TRAGIC SINS!
14.do you believe in love at first sight? :THAT'S ADMIRATION, NOT LOVE.
15.do you believe you can change someone? :YES!
16.if you could marry someone, where could it be? :THE WEDDING? THE PROPOSAL?
17.do you easily give in when you're fighting with that someone? :I'LL JUST CARRY MYSELF AND WALK AWAY.
18. you have feelings with someone right now. :YES. BUT IT'S NOT MAMAT, PLEASE!
19.have you ever wish you could have someone but messed it up. :ADA LAH SATU INSAN.
20.have you ever broke a heart? :YES.
21.if one day your best friend fall in love wif the girl/boy u deeply in love with, wat would u do? :GIRLS BEFORE DICKS! FORGET ABT IT. NO FRIEND OF MINE WOULD WANT FRED, EXCEPT ME.
22.you missing someone right now? :FRED!
23.are you romantic? :I THINK I'VE GOT CHARM :)

there you go, syafiq. thanks for tagging me (not!)
i'm tagging, ween, sarah diyana, and anybody who's damn bored and is interested.

i'm so frigging bored. (haleghleghleghlegh)

anyway, syafiq called me last night/ morning or so. and we talked all the way until 5AM. i really had fun. syafiq and the "ass" he used. he seriously made me forget about mamat, or wanting to wait for fred to call. hehhs. syafiq is still inconsistent about the retain thingy. like hell-o, those immature cfuked up brats will grow up soon what. why worry?

mamat called me at around 11AM just now, when i was practically down right dead. dad yelled and i woke up at 12MD plus. thanks dad. :) i seriously do not feel like answering mamat's calls. so, mamat. if i'm not talking to you.. that means i'm really not talking to you.

people are disgusted that it has been six days since i've taken a bathe/ shower. well, i promise to bathe later today. tomorrow is a must bathe, since paternal side of the family is having a gathering. &abang in is getting engaged. (wheehe!) i seriously want to stop now, because i'm famished! but oh no. mum still has leftover lauk rawan. which is cfuking disgusting, since syafiq told me that the meat used were, the cow's cheeks and the cow's tongue. like, wtf! cow's tongue? i'm seriously disgusted. so i'm going to find some alternatives. (bluechs!)

anyways, fred made me paranoid last night. he boasted about his new nokia handphone. the 5300, i think. (fred told me to write this down) so like, cfuk you ah! the class chalet is coming in a few days time. wheehe. i hope for no mishaps, but let's have fun. and i heard darren is bringing beer! :) maybe before/ after the chalet, i'm going to meet shafiq or adan. hehhehs. just kidding!

my new skin, but i'm not promising this forever. to some people it's plain, to some it's cute. like, what the hell. my efforts, not yours. atleast i'm smart enough to express myself through a piece of blank canvas. stupid critics.

i've got many skins to be done. so, let's see. i owe ween a skin, syafiq's cousin. and edit more graphics. (urggh!) well, right now. i am feeling seriously piqued. (urggh! urggh!) i'm chatting with five people online. and my god, mamat needs to grow up fast. stupid faggot. worthless having a boyfriend like you. AND to think i would be gay for a day. i don't even feel like today's our anniversary. that's very messed up. i would actually count the days on the calender to know that this day, was prove that i was not that kind of person i used to be.

i'm also chatting with fred's cousin, hadziq. they're half as alike. my god. he is one fuck of a fret. his jokes are so informal that they don't seem to be jokes. to him, it's a "haha." well, why won't people just be nice to me for a day? today is utterly up-bringing. (cfuk! what being would be answered to as, "oi"?)

today is so sad. oh god. it's upsetting, let's dawdle this post for onwards tonight. i have no bigger words in my vocabulary to express 16th/ Nov (our anniversary, for i now do not wish to celebrate for..) by the way, i enjoyed talking to syafiq last night. you were a great suspense through out my boredom. hey, "classmate", don't worry. 3A1's not, that bad. :)

temporary skin.

okay, not changing it until tmr.

:)

reason! : i hated my previous skin.

so yeah hor. made several empty skins.

:)

yesterday's skin. :)

who want?

another empty skin,

who wants?

syafiq "friqking"`s skin.

the main picture that is.

but i haven't gave him the html.

:)

so right, i got myself in a fucked up skin. it's so fucked up. someone help me with the border. grr. but overall, i think my own design was nice. hehhs. i designed it. photo credit was obviously from deviantart. duhh. so right, i got bored. and it took me about an hour or so just to complete this fucked up skin. grr. well, atleast, it beats me from having my old skin. hehhs. bored sial. grounded, cannot go out. so i guess, i'll just go out until the class chalet. makk! a solid week. hmm. anyways, can't tag right? because i purposely do one. :D so here's a fucked up skin done by me, but credits go to the css person.

i am frigging bored.
oh what the heck,
i just came hoome.
(:

soo woke up at 12MD.
and get dressed. met sue at
the bustop, with mamat. (:
then went to the ge to ask for an appeal.
wahoos. wish me lucks!
soo, after that, sue went over to my place.
she played the pc while i dressed up.
i begged her to follow me. and she did.
went her house, then. then we took a busride.
17, all the way to pasir ris bus central.
walked and walked. and then i saw adan.
gagaga. soo, followed him to buat ezlink.
but then, he got no picture. soo dragged him
to whitesands. and us, went to cabana to eat.
(: after eating, we proceeded to central- since
adan cannot go home late today. so us, took 21.

alighted in front of century square.
left adan with a "thank you" peck on the cheek kiss.
mamat wasn't jealous okays?! gagaga.
so, went to tamp mall. went to pee first.
after that, went to take neoprint. saw mamat.
haha. ass. soo, took neoprint. belanja'd sue.
she looks damn hot. and we look soo cute when she puts
her hands over my shoulders. we're no lesbs, trust me.
then i heard mamat's little brother frussing about the child
who got his feet stuck in the escalator. ppfts. as if i care much.
me sue and mamat then went to toyrus. played hulahoops
and press tigger's nose. lols. then bought irfaan a lamborghini
gallardo. cute sial! he's playing with it right now. how cute.
after toyrus, went around. to mcCafe. and thank you sue.
i asked for a caramel frappe and i just got a mocha frappe.
grr. then walked to the bus central.
sue took 67. so me and mamat took 65.
camwhored. damn it xia. he looked so happy just now.
then sat under 720 japs. then saw aron. he looked damn kental.
huahua. so now i'm in my boat tee and baggy shorts.
and i think my pooh undies are cute okays!

a clip from one of my favourites.

i'm taking 3a2 next year.
dnt. same with my agness :D

i 've cut my hair.

like sue's.
but the straighter version/ &my fringe is
nicer then hers. :P
all for 7$
seriously satisfied.
(: thanks for the company,
surya.

i'm dying my hair soon too.
dying again i meant. red/
red copper blonde. now i'm going to
dress up, away to mikey's, bobo's and
mother's friend's house.

huleghleghleghleghlegh.
happy. content. &hungry.

one day, you'll get sick of saying that,
"everything's alright."

okay, once again,
my own community attacked,
double crossers. they're so
pompuous. grr.
agness called me at 11++
damn i was shocked.
soo, all the malays are not going,
except for me, sue& ween.
if sue& ween are not going also,
heck care. i won't let my agness down.
i swear.

like, the malays, they actually went out raya ytd.
they actually have money! but they just don't want to
use it on the chalet. come on luhh. kemot xia.
convetuous people. okay, so now i'm going to bathe,
meeting sue, then cutting hair.
bye.

i'm so infuriated that i could say petulent things.
hungry.

hahs.

on the phone with mamat.
damn bored luhh. stupid luhh he.
anyways, i was surprised.

get this, lan called me just now.
flawed xia. touching touching.
and i know, that the 2A1 malays
totally backstabbed me. like,
i'm shunned by my own community.
well, if i look like a frigging bad ass chic
to yo mumma, then go lick her pussy first luhh
ehh zaki? like, sial luhh. heck care about you 2A1 malays luhh.
masing- masing ehh?
i sat home and i got 24$ from mother's colleagues.
hahs. go burn your ass off and shout "oopyaah."
2A1 malays are doublecrossers.
except for nas. haha.

i'm going to cut my hair tmr.
whee. shoulder length but not short.
(: yayaya. new look.
and you know what?
dad was like, "eh kalau ada colour rambut lagi,
kasi aku. aku nak." haha. no ways am i going to
share the same hair colour as my own father.
XD listening to my goodies.
hahs. workout till 1AM tonight!

5 days since i've met mamat.
and i am not missing him.
read this mamat.
i am not missing you.

call me crazy,
slut, bitch, whore or whatever.
but i think i'm ardor-ing
fred. or maybe adan.
XD

maybe adan luhh.
better then waiting all morning, like fred.
hymphs. such an ass. a whole lot of ass.
hahs. adan just called me just now.
awws. then last night, i chatted with johnny.
asked if i was better shoulder-length or short.
he said short. but i want shoulder-length luhh.
you think i'm better shoulder-length, mid-short, or very short eh?
help meehh.

right now chatting with mamat& agness<3
okay luhh. want to bathe. mother's friends are coming to visit.
any time now. byes.

i am feeling ripped.
how silence brings sad seconds,
after the tone of one's voice,
who speaks through the receiver of his phone.
mamat said "bye."
for the first time he did.

i am not upset, i am frustruated.
i am agitated and i want to scream.
*aarghs*
he said "bye" and i felt like hitting his head.
megalomaniac boyfriend.
like whatever. maybe ariff was right.
maybe, maybe.

suddenly this pathetic phonecalls
brings me thoughts of breaking up.
like grow up fast, dee.
but thinking about it again,
maybe ariff was right. and maybe
i'm just too wasted on a guy like mamat.
urgh. well right now,
i'm soo happy to have my nerd { fred }, adan,
and ariff as "one call away" friends.
ooh, and lan's excitement to keep me awake.
{ my ex14, so fucking funny and crappy now. }

i'm gonna send a litte rain to pour down on you
rain that makes the flowers bloom
rain to leave you all alone
that keeps eyelashes falling
and wishes washed away

i admit the kenan and kel clip was lame.
but i sort of liked it. whoo hates orange soda.
well, here's another clip.
and i promise this will be the last time of lame clips.
XD



so right, sarah diyana and her friends
came over to my place. lols.
i never bathe. (: later khairil also coming.
hahs. yea. do understand this "whose line is it anyways?"
(x

lols.

ding dong.
churh bell rang.

1st NOV, 12MD.
lols.

soo, was on the phone with ariff.
he seemed nice. matured, and he
teaches me many experiences.
thou i know there were only three,
but right now, i'll think hard about it.
ooh he gave me a wake up call.

so, went out with surya ytd.
last minute at 4PM. so yea, i went out with her.
went to whitesands first. gosh i talked aloot.
hahs. went shopping for tubes and tees.
then nothing ada. wanted to eat at swens.
but we brought the wrong cash. damn kekek luhh.
then went to bedok, we took 17. there was this
geek who has serious issues sial! i was adjusting my bra,
and he saw. wth?

then we stopped at bedok central.
went to look for tubes and tees.
lols. i got myself a boatneck tee.
white plain lyrca tee. for 10$,
good hassle. sue bought herself a
polka dotty tee. { very cute }
then we felt like a frappe.
bedok has no mccafe right?
sue said, what about the library cafe.
damn luhh. cafe galilee. i got myself a..
caramel vanilla frappe. fucking nice can!
4.80$.

then we sat outside.
saw like ariff and his friend, fahmy.
haha. damn irritated me aloot.
and right now, i'm
chatting with adan.
haha. funny sial.
i seem to enjoy the silent laughter
and the whispers. ooh. he
has a hot bod. nyeahas.

on the phone with ariff.
(: damn kekek luhhs.
asyik2 kena marah.

haha. dia geram.
uhhs.. bye luhh.