i am feeling ripped.
how silence brings sad seconds,
after the tone of one's voice,
who speaks through the receiver of his phone.
mamat said "bye."
for the first time he did.

i am not upset, i am frustruated.
i am agitated and i want to scream.
*aarghs*
he said "bye" and i felt like hitting his head.
megalomaniac boyfriend.
like whatever. maybe ariff was right.
maybe, maybe.

suddenly this pathetic phonecalls
brings me thoughts of breaking up.
like grow up fast, dee.
but thinking about it again,
maybe ariff was right. and maybe
i'm just too wasted on a guy like mamat.
urgh. well right now,
i'm soo happy to have my nerd { fred }, adan,
and ariff as "one call away" friends.
ooh, and lan's excitement to keep me awake.
{ my ex14, so fucking funny and crappy now. }

i'm gonna send a litte rain to pour down on you
rain that makes the flowers bloom
rain to leave you all alone
that keeps eyelashes falling
and wishes washed away