ARGH !

been repeating "Awake" for million of times.
& ooh ahs. i cleaned up my blog.

it's a mess, yea. i know.
if i never linked you, sorry !
just drop it by. yea?

went to buka at nenek's house.
508. coincidentally, mamat too.
and his nenek's house is at 504.
we met at 7-eleven. =D
i bought panadol children (for myself lah)
& i got free kinder bueno from mamat's oh so goodlooking little brother,
JOHAN =D

got to kiss mamat.
been dying to taste his lips for dayyss !
gagagaga. faggot xia nas.
i know, mamat is not goodlooking.
unlike haikal, the matrep-ish kind of cute.
or lan, the mods kind of cute.
or or zul the oh oh oh cute dickhead.
but hey ! you should know. i don't go for looks - anymore.

=D
my love is for real.
and hee. mamat&i ! two weeks already.
let's see.
11o8-29o8.
our first relationship.
then 2908-16o9.
the breakup.
16o9-current !
our second relationship.

god. i really hope i can actually have mamat for real.
i think i really really like him.
and i am serious, and i'm not kidding about his halfbroken teeth.

aiyaya. shinx wants to use the comp.
XD

i got bored.. again !
played with those sparklers with my mum, sister& irfaan.
they were gushes of smoke, and i still cannot stop coughing from it.

ouhkaess, my eoy.
el paper 1 ; argumentative essay.
is it undesirable for teenagers to be dating.
& formal letter.
mt paper 1; dialog,
& otw back from school, you witnessed a fight nearby..

i think it was fine.
wednesday - geog& el paper 2.
goodluck dee. ENGLISH !

been repeating Awake on my player.
gosh. i really want lan to stay ! SAY MY NAME SO I KNOW IT'S TRUE.
still coughing. so i stop here..

=D

posting today, i got bored.
mind those spelling errors in my previous post.
mind me for not checking through my work.

ouhkaess.
tmr got el paper1/ mt paper1.
formal letter& composition.

so, just now..
didn't go pondok. everybody went ahead to bedok north.
there we were.. mai dayah boi abas adam naz fadhal ipul ramdhan ewan aris.
=) i was there until 4 ; 3o pm.

oh so fucking bored.
listening to untukmu saiyang - febians.
lalalaa ! ouhkaess lah. had this feeling of wanting to barry.

=D

just berbuka.
yeahs! i didn't fast though.
had a reason, and it's bland.
three days already, i still cannot fast.

added a song, and poof.
it's kicking. and the purple of my blog makes me happy.
but hais. it's called awake.
and it's sad. i wander if lan's really, really really going?
he used to tell me he'll be visiting brit soon.
and i was crying dreadfully days ago, when he told me things i never wanded to hear.
so is true that you are going?
going off far away, not even to britain?
when you're gone i know you won't come back.
god knows it, so does everyone else.

two more days to my mt paper1/ el paper1.

i feel awfully bad. i batal'dkan mamat's puasa.
well, it started from an idsy-bidsy annoyance.
it ended up with a bitchslap. XD
and hee. thanks to abas, i've received multiple bruises beneathe my skin.
he taught me how to tap, punch& score. yes fight!
i am bored. &i will wait for mamat to call.

"will you stay awake for me?"
i don't want to miss anything.

I WAS LOSING MYSELF.

BAHAA!

sadsad.
something's wrong between mamat& me.
it's so sad to wait for him to call, or even wait up for him.
i'm like last-minute rejects.
anyways, i thank plentyplenty for the onemilliondollar advice given by wanbo& also the confidence shafiq gave. listening to "everything i'm not" -the veronicas.

i was losing myself to somebody else.
i don't want to pretend, so this is the end.
of you& me.
cos the girl, that you want.
she was tearing us apart.
cos she is everything, everything i'm not.

anyways, changed my skin.
did it myself. from rips& bits.
it took me twenty minutes lerr.
but i'm quite happy about it.
EOYS start this friday.
& hit me, i'm prepared.
so, i want to stop here.

hugs& kisses to the lovables,
and fuck off to em misbegottens.

Hahs.

Changed my blogskin.
Yadadadaa.

And i'm actually frenatically bored,
so here's a short post lerr.

Cleaned out my Window's Live Myspace.
DADAADA!

i finally got internet.

(:
highlights this week.
- eoy's are coming.
- progress card shows i'm slacking.
- i am utterly broke.
- i am getting along with my ex-boyfriends.
- i am focusing on studies.
- I PATCHED WITH MAMAT.

(:

it's been days since i've made an entry.
here's a short list& review of things of where i stand.

1- GROUNDED.
for this weekend, mum told me stay home since the eoy's are near. i respect her wishes, but neh. i won't do self-studies.

2- TIRED.
i've not adapted/ altered my sleeping schedule.
perhaps i've been always talking on the phone till 1AM (even though it's not that late, but it eats up most of my sleeping beauty) with my fondly beloved.

3- VERY TIRED.
i think i'm crazy.
i've been spending most of my leisure time off with either mamat or aron. &perhaps more with abas, or the crazy dickheads at the btp pondok.

4- SERIOUSLY DEAD BEAT.
i've gotta balance this little routine i have. my sleeping schedule and my time off& addition.. also my studies. yes, i've been paying attention to the teachers.

5- TODAY IS ABAS' BIRTHDAY.
he got seriously beaten up by his brothers& his friends. like let's see.. there was saiful from the front, arunboifadhalnazwan surrounded him. and then, bangbang! rusty filmed the video, and he's good at it.

6- FUCKING SICK OF..
all these rumours going on.
take this note to all those mouthmakers.
i am seriously not with wanblack ( syazwan4t1 )
fuck all those fucking mouthmakers.
( informers who tell kina deadly beads, whoever you are.. )

7- HAVING FUN!
been observing mamat's behaviour and he's better off this way. &also having fun being single. i get naz to kiss me& that's soo taching. hurs. and also attention to the budak bedok norths. wahss!

you know, i met up with mamat just now.
then i saw the sunshine pass through our heads.
when i looked at our shadows& silhouttes,
i felt so awwed. with his cheek upon mind, the fake copy of ourselves gave us a cute little heart-shaped figure. it was like.. sial larr. they know i love him. hees.
so here i stop,
fucking tired& i'm giving in to myself.
take care my peoples..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

TODAY I AM PRINCESS.

hees.

i'm using wireless connection.
funfun. i'm actually under my void.
i look kinky in my yu neng shorts and op shirt.
i see fourtones & chinese damaians. yup, i'm at mikel. dad fixed in the wireless connection, so here i am. but i'm going pondok later, meet aron perhaps. dad grounded me, hee. so, here's a short post. and i'm tired of typing on the surface of this stone-surfaced table. happy septs everyone.
and puhlease, don't remind me about my birthday. take care dickheads(:

WELLO!

it's been quite some time since i've published my thoughts.
well, my dad's bill rose 20$ more than usual and he's freaking out.

let's see.
things have changed alot for me.
since that day, i just felt that i disappointed myself and everybody else. especially mamat. i felt bad

and stupid for breaking up with him, but i'm proud to know he still loves me. and i just cried over the

line last night when he said he wanted me back, and he pulled me out before i hung over myself. his

parents also know we broke up. his mumma seemed sad too. &i just can't believe myself. so much for

being faithful. so sorry mamat-- i'm just not myself now.

bitterhearts& wishful thinking..

ouhkay.
i'm stuck between myself and the other guys.
call me egoistic but geez. the IBs know that i still care about mamat. but they keep putting on load for

me to go on with aron. ouhkay, aron is super cute. irresistable and untouchable. he never had anybody

to call his own. i was so honoured to let him call me his first. awwww. (",)

oh shutdup. don't flaw yourself online you stupid biarch.
now i'm also stuck between wan. wangrouber. he's also cute. a mixture of lan14& shafiq13. i went

away to his house before, was super fun. wan also wanted to be mine-- it's not fair. just like mamat and

aron.

so now i'm standing in shadows& shambles.
feeling guilty to let his love go wrong.
and also feeling wrong to fling around with two other guys.
i'm back to being single. but take notice,
i am not available.