my favourite songs, don't cheer me up.
but they bring me a sense of deep vertigo.
and, my bestfriends (one of them) is being an ass.
&&, i'm still trying my best to forget asrul.

my friends, i would like to thank faisal (hani's exboyfriend) with smittens of love. with one text message, ending with the words, "SMILE, cos i care." aku sanggop reply taw walaupon ppd low! asking me about tomorrow. and haaaaaah. it's rather annoying that he can make me smile, that maaaaany. *bigwidegrin* and he has this so called feeling called, I-WANT-TO-MEET-DEE. lemaofao! and then, again. hilmi was also there to cheer me on. this is an example of being a friend, to be there for him/ her. and not hesistant to care.

asrul is online.. but he's not chatting with me.
i don't quite care luhh. as much as he really is hurting me, i'll just keep loving myself.. i belong to me. zomg! that's one irritating song! eew. OKAYSHAKEITANDMOVEALONG. and right now, i'm chatting with hilmi. cuutes! so, just now, i lied on my back. staring at the walls, and listened to the songs i used to like.. .it didn't bring me happy thoughts but momentums which were sour. i guess i am really really missing mamat. and i miss him, big time. tengok ah, diyana sendiri trippin'. i miss his teeth, i miss the little glinch in his eyes when i know he's mad at me. i miss his immature jokes. and i miss him holding my hand, even when i push it aside. but truth is, i got to move on. but i never meant it to be this way. since the breakup until now, never had he texted me to ask about anything. asrul is being an ass. he's saying that i don't want to talk to him, but the matter of fact is. he's either busy on the phone with some other girl orrrrrrrrrrrr he just wants my attention. i cannot argue with him, because it's always he that wins and i end up crying till i sleep. pointless arguments with him always happen, but what does he care rigggggght. he doesn't even have the initiative to call me, but hehhs. like i said, what does he care -.-